Signs You Are Unofficially Dating: Move On Or DTR?
Clarifying the nature of your relationship with someone you’re seeing can be both daunting and something you yearn for. What happens if your feelings don’t align? What if the other person has different expectations, and your current connection could be jeopardized?
Numerous indicators suggest that you’re no longer merely hanging out but rather transitioning into a new phase of your relationship. When navigating what relationship specialists refer to as a situationship, it’s essential to recognize a few possible outcomes.
Your emotions and desires, along with whether you both share the same goals, will highly influence whether it’s time to label your relationship or pursue something more substantial if this isn’t what you want.
Below are insights into determining your position and how to proceed.
Indicators of Unofficial Dating


Many indicators might suggest you’re in an unofficial dating scenario, and these signs can reveal much about the potential unfolding relationship.
A loose relationship or a situationship might seem ambiguous, but it’s vital to understand that it doesn’t inherently imply negativity. Engaging in the relationship doesn’t always necessitate a formal discussion – often, you can simply relish the moments spent together.
However, certain signs may indicate that your relationship has ventured into the realm of romance, while others may suggest you’re edging close to a potentially unhealthy dynamic. There exist discernable indicators – all it takes is a willingness to explore.
More than just a fling, not quite a couple.
Often, unofficial dating does not evolve into a committed relationship. That’s completely acceptable if you’re content with that. Typically, complications arise when emotional desires shift, where one person remains satisfied while the other develops deeper feelings and seeks to progress.
Here are several indicators suggesting that you’re currently comfortable within a dating relationship. It’s laid-back yet significant. At this moment, you’re enjoying the journey, and while circumstances may change later, you’re satisfied with the current state.
1. You meet frequently.



Although you might not label it as dating, you and your partner share regular meetings. Sometimes your outings take place outside and sometimes you stay indoors, but your time together happens often. It’s taken for granted by both parties that you’ll meet up, even when the subject isn’t brought up.
2. Consistent Messaging.
You maintain a constant line of communication with one another. It’s not just the fact that you exchange texts daily – it’s that the conversation flows continuously. You don’t hold back from reaching out whenever a thought comes to mind that might amuse them. There’s a constant stream of topics to discuss.
3. Shared Physical Chemistry, Yet More Than Physical.
The attraction between you was palpable from day one, and it’s likely what brought you together. However, you share a bond that transcends a purely physical connection. You can enjoy each other’s company without it necessarily leading to intimacy, and your interactions don’t solely center around that dynamic. But still, you aren’t entirely labeled as a couple.
4. Feelings of Jealousy.



Although you haven’t committed as a couple, the thought of other potential partners doesn’t sit well with you. References to past relationships can be quite bothersome. This may hint at a desire to redefine your relationship, or you may simply be someone who struggles with jealousy.
5. Unofficial Exclusivity.
Without a formal agreement, both of you have somehow fallen into an exclusive situation. No other individuals are on your dating radar, and any fleeting romantic interests have faded into the background. It doesn’t seem to be a conscious choice – you’ve simply lost interest in other possibilities.
6. Shared Humor.
Your humor often includes private jokes that outsiders just wouldn’t understand. Spending significant time together means you’ve created countless shared experiences and memories that are unique to just the two of you. You each likely have special nicknames that you use for one another.
7. Deep Conversations.
The communication you share goes beyond just casual updates and interests. You both have exchanged thoughts and feelings that are challenging to discuss with anyone else, and you’re there to support each other in these personal revelations.
8. Mutual Comfort.



It could take some time for individuals to feel at ease with one another, yet you are already in that space. You feel sufficiently at ease with one another to show your true selves. You may not have hit the peak of intimacy, but there’s no sense of needing to hold back.
9. Emotions Exist.
It may not be love precisely, but there’s likely some degree of affection that both of you share. If someone inquired about your feelings, pinpointing them might be tricky. You undoubtedly have a fondness for them, but at this instant, you’re uncertain about how to proceed with those emotions.
10. Steering clear of labels.
What’s your status? Unclear, and you may or may not be concerned. Currently, the arrangement might suit both of you as it is, but it’s improbable that your current situation will remain unchanged. It will either diminish or escalate to something serious. Only you two can determine the direction it will take.
Is it time to make it official?



In some cases, a casual connection might already be classified as a romantic one. If you feel like it’s necessary, this could be the moment to clarify the relationship and declare yourselves a couple. Doing so could help foster a greater bond.
Here are the indications that you are unofficially already
official:
1. You both desire to be together.
This is truly the key factor when considering relationships – success can only be achieved if both partners wish for it. Only then will you put in the effort and commit fully. If you both align in your feelings, then making it official becomes merely a formality.
2. You want each other part of your lives.
Since you wish to be integral to one another’s lives, you create space and dedicate time for each other. This can range from simple gestures, like sharing bathroom items, to more significant commitments, such as extending invitations to family events consistently.
3. It already feels official.
The primary distinction between a ‘true relationship’ and your current situation is that you haven’t explicitly discussed it. Most likely, you’ve just flowed naturally without feeling the need to define it. If those feelings shift, it may be time to facilitate a conversation.
4. Others naturally think you’re a couple.
A positive indication that you are exuding couple energy is when others perceive you as one. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re overtly showing couple-like behaviors; it just indicates that there’s a shared vibe between the two of you that tells others you’re together.
5. You’ve imagined the future together.



Although you haven’t explicitly discussed formalizing your relationship, you’ve already engaged in conversations about upcoming shared experiences. Including each other in your future intentions—like planning summer vacations or contemplating long-term goals—suggests that you view one another as partners already.
6. Vulnerability is not intimidating.
Showing your emotional sides to each other feels safe. Instead, you trust that the other person will embrace you and make you feel valued and understood.
7. Prioritizing time together is important.
You always carve out time for one another. When schedules get tight, you make adjustments to fit in those moments. Being in each other’s company takes precedence over everything else, and you both prefer to rearrange commitments rather than miss out on connecting.
8. You value each other’s perspectives.
When events unfold in your lives, you want to involve each other and seek opinions. For significant choices, their insights matter. Considering each other’s views highlights the bond you share as partners.
9. You count on each other.

Engaging in sexual activities can feel profoundly personal and meaningful. The comfort and lack of constraints with each other allow for sincere communication. Your sexual experiences can be enjoyable and beneficial, yet they embody an element that transcends mere enjoyable moments together.
Knowing When to Move On
People often enter into relationships due to ease or disinterest and find themselves with someone they don’t truly care for enough to envision a serious partnership Spending time together can either strengthen your bond or lead to a growing aversion towards each other.
At times, it’s just someone you start hooking up with and spending time together, creating a situation that is ambiguous, lacking a clear definition of a FWB arrangement.
However, situations can evolve; heartbreak is inevitable if one partner begins to develop emotions for the other. This is primarily problematic if the other person remains indifferent.
Here are indications that it would be wiser to exit before feelings get hurt:
1. No Plans are Made.



In a relationship based on convenience, effort is often lacking. You may only come together when it feels right and only if you don’t have prior engagements. If you decide on a meeting but something more captivating presents itself, you’ll often choose to go with the better option, resulting in spontaneous get-togethers.
2. There’s No Talk About the Future.
Conversations about future scenarios seldom happen. You may not envision it that way at all – the thought of being with them long-term can be distressing as that would suggest you’ve not found anyone better. You tend to prefer leaving your future open-ended.
3. No Romantic Outings Occur.
You lack any desire for romantic gestures with each other. Spending time together is acceptable, even alone, but engaging in romantic activities sends a shudder down your spine. If given the option, you’d rather avoid sharing dinners by candlelight or cuddling with this individual.
4. New People Could Easily Steal Your Attention.
It wouldn’t take much for another person to step in between you. Should someone more appealing enter your life, you would have no qualms about ceasing all contact with the current partner. It’s not that you find yourself passively waiting for an upgrade, but if a better match arose, you’d find it simple to part ways with your present arrangement.
5. You Rarely Reference Them to Others.

6. You’re not thrilled about being seen with them in public.
Perhaps there’s a hint of embarrassment surrounding your current partner, or maybe you feel indifferent towards your efforts with them, which makes you reluctant for others to witness your relationship. The idea of someone you know catching you together sparks concerns and a desire for explanations, which you prefer to avoid.
7. You prefer secluded spots for outings.
Beyond simply wishing to avoid public attention, you’re also reluctant to visit crowded places where you might feel self-conscious about how you act together. Your discomfort with the relationship leads you to prefer privacy over social interactions.
8. There’s no visible proof of your relationship.
Joint photos are absent, you don’t post about one another on social media, and there’s nothing kept as a memento of your bond. Right now, you’re not inclined to publicize your situation, and you know once it’s over, you’d prefer not to be reminded of it.
9. Your relationship is merely based on convenience.
The primary reason for your link is convenience. You enjoy spending time together and casual encounters, but that’s the extent of it. The longer you remain in this situation, the further you drift away from seeking a meaningful relationship.
10. Neither of you is seeking something serious.
If both of you aren’t genuinely interested in committing, it’s a definite indication that this relationship should come to an end. There’s a mutual respect, and while it’s more than just physical, the lack of desire to deepen the connection is evident.
Clarifying Your Relationship Status



Before you embark on specifying your relationship, it’s crucial to assess whether the lack of a label truly concerns you. Only define it if you’re feeling unsettled about its current nature.
When you decide to broach the topic, it’s vital to communicate your feelings openly, without the burden of worrying about how it might affect your relationship.
You might find that both of you prefer the status quo, or one of you may need additional time before addressing the relationship’s condition. A thriving partnership thrives on transparent dialogue, and sharing your worries is necessary for a lasting connection.
1. Confirm your genuine interest.
Begin by reflecting on your emotions. Are you genuinely drawn to this individual, or has the relationship morphed into a routine? Consider your feelings about them and whether you envision a future together.
2. Reflect on your bond.
What is the current state of your relationship? We’ve discussed various interpretations of an unofficial relationship – which category fits yours? Do you appreciate how it affects you emotionally? Do you look forward to spending time together? Are you inclined to either adapt the dynamics or preserve them as is?
3. Discover the other person’s desires.



Prior to opening the dialogue, observe the other person’s body language and actions, but refrain from jumping to hasty conclusions. It’s wise to wait until you sense some mutual understanding before engaging in direct conversation.
4. Communicate with transparency.
Avoid minimizing your emotions due to fears they aren’t mutual or that you might experience pain. Be honest about your needs regarding the status of the relationship. They might be waiting for you to take the initiative, or perhaps they aren’t ready yet.
If you’ve undertaken the earlier steps by clearly assessing your feelings, your relationship status, and interpreted their responses, you might discover that you both desire the same outcome.
5. Approach the conversation lightly.
Don’t impose any pressure on the situation. Ensure that you are not pushing too hard or making demands if the other person needs more time. If it’s premature, and you both need additional time to ascertain your feelings, allow for space and revisit the topic afterward.
It is possible that both of you might conclude that ending things is the best course of action. This might be the correct decision if it doesn’t feel right, but there’s no need to mourn for a relationship that wasn’t suitable for either party. Instead, look ahead to new encounters that lie in your future.
If it becomes clear that both of you are interested in pursuing a formal romantic partnership, congratulations! Take your time as you transition into this new phase, treating it as a fresh start, even though you’ve been together for a while.
The purpose behind this is that circumstances have shifted, even if it appears they haven’t altered significantly, and adapting to this may take a little while.
Make It Happen



Once you have moved on from merely hanging out and find yourselves spending substantial time together, there’s a chance you might identify with some of these indicators suggesting that you are unofficially dating.
Some signals imply that a relaxed relationship is acceptable for now. Others suggest it may be time to discuss and make your relationship official while also considering that it might be better to halt this connection altogether.
Relationship coaches typically assert that the emotions shared between both individuals are what truly matter, and this holds true in this situation as well. When both parties are equally inclined to invest in the relationship, success becomes possible.
