Is It Your Fault If Your Partner Cheats On You?
We’ve all overlooked warning signs at some point. When you’re smitten with someone, you yearn for them to be your perfect match, even if deep down you sense they aren’t right for you.
At times, these may be minor warning signs, yet issues like infidelity should never be disregarded. Admittedly, that’s easier said than done.
The moment you move past them, you immediately recognize how clear everything was and that you should have seen it coming. The truth is—spotting red flags while in love isn’t always straightforward.
While browsing TikTok, I came across a video from a podcast about cheating that left me feeling both annoyed and fascinated. It featured a woman asserting that if someone cheats on us, it’s our fault.
Who’s accountable when infidelity occurs?
Sadia Khan (@sadiapsychology), a relationship expert was on the podcast and made everyone gasp with her bold claim. She begins the video with:
“If you ever get cheated on, I know people despise me for saying this, but it’s usually your fault. Especially with men, a cheating woman will indicate every red flag from the start. If you ignore those red flags, you’ll suffer the consequences.”
If this isn’t something that will cross your mind tonight before you sleep, then I don’t know what will. It really makes you ponder all the possible signs that could have been right in front of you, yet ignored.
However, is it just to blame the individual who was cheated on? This statement certainly sparked controversy. One person strongly disagreed, commenting:
“If someone cheats on you it’s never your fault because there is no excuse for cheating, period.”
Yet, others acknowledged their oversight and agreed with her:
“It’s true. I ignored my instincts and deceived myself. Never again.”
People also pointed out it’s not always evident that someone sees the warning signs but chooses to stay. Newcomers to dating might not even recognize they are being misled. As one user said:
“True but if you’re inexperienced you have no clue lol.”
So, what exactly are these red flags she emphasized so much?
How to discern a cheater?
Sadia stated that unfaithful partners will inevitably reveal their true nature; it’s up to us to recognize their true character. Integrity and deceit can’t coexist, right?
Eventually, cheaters expose their true principles, and we shouldn’t ignore them if they seem dubious.
Inquiring about their history isn’t a bad approach either. Often, it reveals much about a person, though it’s not a foolproof method. As they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.
Sadia works with many clients who have been victims of infidelity, sometimes for years. She believes they are indirectly consenting as it’s unlikely they haven’t detected any of the evident signs.
As she clarified:
“There would have been delays in responding to messages, there would have been days their phones are off, not telling you where they’re going, their social media would have suggested something. These were signs you chose to ignore, and the cost of that, unfortunately, is betrayal.”
After her explanation, many realized she might be telling an unpleasant truth others prefer to ignore. As one woman confessed:
“It’s tough to hear if you’ve been cheated on… but it’s absolutely true 👍”
Still, some disagree because they feel it’s sometimes genuinely impossible to anticipate someone’s actions. One person shared:
“No way! He told me he was cheated on by his last partner. I let my guard down and thought he wouldn’t cheat because he had been cheated on already.”
Sadia really ignited a fiery debate with her views! What’s your take? Should the blame lie with the person who suffered the unfaithfulness or the perpetrator?
