“If You Love Someone, Let Them Go”

How often have you heard the phrase, ‘If you love someone, set them free?’ Your best friend might have shared this line if you’ve recently gone through a breakup or if your relationship is on the rocks.

But what does this cliché really mean? You’ve probably heard it countless times, often from people trying to comfort you.

They’re likely concerned about your heartache and well-being, ready to say just about anything to make you feel better. You appreciate their efforts, but this line just doesn’t make sense to you.

After all, when you care about someone – a best friend, family member, or romantic partner – you want them by your side as much as possible, right? In fact, you’d do everything you can to keep them close.

From this perspective, the phrase ‘If you truly love someone, set them free’ seems nonsensical.

Well, I’m here to change your mind.

Keep reading, and you’ll understand why this seemingly simple line holds one of the most valuable lessons about love. Not only that, but you’ll also finally grasp its true meaning.

Why Do People Say ‘If You Love Someone, Set Them Free?’

The core idea behind ‘If you love someone, set them free’ is that you can’t lose what was never truly yours. Similarly, you can’t keep someone who doesn’t genuinely want to stay.

Essentially, when you release the person you deeply care about, you give them the freedom to choose. If they return, you two are truly meant to be together. If they don’t, they were never truly yours to begin with.

However, there’s more to this famous line than meets the eye. Here are some reasons why it’s a principle that should guide you through life.

True love is selfless

It’s simple: when you love someone, their happiness is your priority – whether they’re with you or not. That’s what genuine love is about.

So, if you love someone, set them free. Give them space and let them live their life.

I get that many people haven’t experienced this kind of love. Honestly, I had a hard time accepting this idea too.

After all, when you’re into someone, especially when you love them and are in a romantic relationship, you want them by your side always. You might feel a bit possessive and struggle with the idea of them focusing on someone else.

Whether we like it or not, this is how most of us act when we fall in love. But here’s the truth: that possessiveness isn’t coming from your heart; it’s your ego.

You can’t face the fact that someone might replace you – that’s why you hold on so tightly.

Your self-esteem would take a hit, and you’d think their leaving means you’re not good enough. That’s just your ego talking.

True love, on the other hand, is completely selfless. You want what’s best for your loved one, even if that doesn’t include you.

That’s exactly what you’ll learn if you set free the one you love.

You’ll gain clarity

Uncertainty is one of the toughest feelings to deal with. And no, I’m not talking about the kind that’s excited about what’s coming.

In your situation, uncertainty means not knowing where you stand. This can be tough to admit, but the truth is you doubt your partner’s feelings.

One day, you feel like the love of their life. But then, everything changes.

You start wondering if they’re playing games or if they even care about you. Maybe the love is real, but not strong enough?

Your biggest fear is that this person will leave. You live in constant worry that one day, they’ll be gone.

Want to know the best way to face your fears? Look them in the eye and confront them bravely.

That’s why people say ‘If you love someone, set them free.’ Instead of waiting for them to leave, why not give them the freedom to choose first?

Don’t misunderstand – I’m not promising they’ll come back. The truth is, you might not get the outcome you hope for.

But at least you’ll have clarity, and that’s always better than living with doubts.

It will fortify your bond

Of course, there’s a good chance they’ll come back. You might set them free, but they could refuse to leave in the first place.

If that happens, this experience will strengthen your bond more than ever. You’ll prove to each other that your love is genuine and unique.

First, you’ll show your loved one that you love them more than yourself. Their happiness is your priority, even above your own.

You’re not a possessive person who wants them at any cost. You’re giving them liberty, not forcing them to stay with you.

No emotional manipulation, no ultimatums, no pleading – you’re giving them the freedom to choose. What greater proof of love could there be?

On the other hand, they’re showing you the depth of their feelings too. They choose to stay with you despite having the freedom to leave.

You haven’t forced them to stay, but they choose to be by your side. That’s a powerful testament to their love.

They returned to you because they realized you’re their one and only.

Believe me – if your ex comes back to you naturally, without any pressure, tricks, or manipulation, there’s no question about it: that’s pure love right there.

You’ll overcome emotional dependence

Regardless of how deeply in love you and your partner are, being excessively dependent on each other isn’t healthy. I’m talking about those relationships where your partner becomes the center of your universe.

While it does depend on your attachment style, emotional dependence in romantic relationships is more common than you might think.

I’m referring to relationships where you barely exist without them by your side. You’re essentially addicted to them, and when they’re not around, everything seems pointless, and your life feels empty.

I’m not promising this will happen to you, but often in such scenarios, one person might take advantage of the other. Once your partner realizes you can’t live without them, they might think you’ll love them no matter how they treat you.

On top of that, emotional dependence makes you lose yourself. It erases your personality and robs you of your independence entirely.

Well, the best way to avoid this is to let go of the person you’re dependent on. Yes, it’s a tremendously difficult step to take, but it will help you break free from emotional dependence.

Your insecurities will fade away

Emotional dependence often brings insecurities. We’ve already discussed feeling worthless without your partner.

Naturally, you start seeing everyone around you as competition. You perceive them as threats, potential replacements for you in your long-term relationship.

Even if your partner never said it directly, you feel like you’re not enough. You’re convinced they could do better, and this fear holds you back.

What’s my advice? Should you cling even tighter? Should you hold on as if your life depended on it?

Absolutely not! Let them go, and watch your insecurities vanish almost instantly.

When they return to you, you’ll understand that you’ve been the one they wanted all along. Imagine this: you gave them complete freedom, and they chose to come back to you—the one they love.

Your ex wants only you, and they’ve shown it clearly. Who wouldn’t gain confidence from that?

It offers a chance for a new beginning

Let’s be clear: there’s a chance your loved one may never return. I won’t sugarcoat that. But, even if that happens, is it the end of the world?

Far from it. In fact, it can be a great opportunity for a fresh start.

Now that you know your standing, you have no choice but to accept your fate and move forward with your life.

Rather than seeing this as the worst outcome, view it as an act of divine intervention. It could be setting you free from someone who wasn’t meant to be yours.

Most importantly, you gave it your best shot. You weren’t clingy or forceful; you allowed the relationship to unfold naturally.

In the end, it’s their loss, not yours.

How Do You Let Someone Go Even Though You Love Them?

If you love something, let it go. Easier said than done, right? After reading the previous sections, you understand why it’s the best course of action in most situations.

However, nobody’s taught you how to do it. Let’s change that.

I know letting go of someone you deeply care for is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. I’ve been there myself.

At one point, I had to release someone for their own benefit, and more importantly, for mine. It was incredibly difficult, but I knew it had to be done.

Looking back now, it was absolutely the right decision. Here are some tips that helped me through that tough period:

Remember, you don’t own people