How To Move On From A Relationship In 10 Effortless Steps

Enduring a heartbreaking separation leaves you desperate to understand how to move forward from a relationship that has just concluded. Do you wish there was a magical way to ease your sorrow and help you shift focus from yesterday to tomorrow?

Regrettably, I must inform you that such magic does not exist. However, others, like myself, have experienced this and can attest to the fact that recovering and moving past it is achievable.

Unlike you, it took me months to learn how to mend my shattered heart. But eventually, I figured it out on my own.

This is your opportunity to benefit from what I’ve learned. So listen closely to what you are about to read, because it’s pretty much the closest thing to that magical answer you’ve been hoping for.

10 Ways To Move On From A Relationship

Releasing an ex from your life is hardly a walk in the park. It’s a journey, and without prior experience, you’d really appreciate precise instructions.

And that’s exactly what I’m here to provide. Below is a comprehensive 10-step program to help you move on from a relationship.

1. Make a final decision

Unfortunately, I must tell you that initiating a healthy separation process is often the toughest step. It’s not merely about that awkward conversation with your ex or finding a new love interest.

It starts with a crucial self-dialogue. Above all, remember that you are the priority here.

It’s essential that you’re absolutely certain you want to end things with your romantic partner. Don’t make this decision impulsively just because you two had a bitter fight recently or due to a moment of intense irritation.

Understand this is a grave decision that needs calm deliberation.

A common blunder at this juncture is breaking up out of spite. You want to get back at your significant other.

They’ve wounded you, and you see ending the relationship as the best means to hurt them in return. Believe me – it’s not.

Also, avoid ending things hoping they’ll chase after you. Dismiss the whole If you love someone, let them go belief; your ultimate aim isn’t to test their affection. This is merely your ego speaking, and it should remain out of your decision process.

How to know it’s the right call

But how do you determine if breaking up is indeed the right move? This can be particularly hard when feelings are still strong (especially if they represent a significant love in your life, like your first love).

Don’t worry – I’m not suggesting you ignore your emotions while making this decision. Yes, that might be wise, but it’s often not feasible.

Regardless, I urge you to concentrate on your compatibility. Question whether your relationship has a future.

Does this person make you happy? Are you with them merely out of habit? Have they just become your safety zone, or can you genuinely envision growing old with them?

Picture your life without them

Try this experiment: envision your future without your partner. Yes, it’s painful initially. Sure, you’ve shared a lot of time together, and that’s normal.

But can you see yourself happier? More liberated? Enjoying life better?

If so – it’s time to free yourself from this relationship. Just ensure, once more, not to look back once you’ve made this decision.

2. Tears are words your heart can’t express

When asked how to move on from a relationship, many advise you to toughen up and deal with the breakup stoically, as if nothing significant has occurred.

Let me assure you, there’s nothing mature about dismissing the pain of a breakup. This approach only delays your healing.

Repressing emotions

In truth, many are embarrassed by their suffering. They’re hesitant to show pain when a romantic relationship concludes. They fear appearing weak and vulnerable.

So what do they do? They suppress their negative emotions as deep as possible, hoping the pain will magically disappear if they pretend it’s nonexistent.

But guess what: healing doesn’t work like that. In fact, suppressing your feelings can exacerbate your emotional state.

How? When you suppress your feelings, they inevitably burst out unexpectedly. You might find yourself dreaming about your ex, mixing up names, or similar actions. This is a sign from your subconscious to address these hidden feelings.

Instead, allow yourself to heal in a healthy manner. If you feel like crying, then cry. If shouting feels right, then shout.

Your heartbreak is real, and these are natural reactions from your body and mind to what you’ve undergone. You’re human, so don’t be too hard on yourself for having human responses.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you’ll spend forever mourning your relationship’s end. Initially, view it as part of self-care.

3. Get a support system

Moving past a previous relationship is painful. It’s so challenging that often, you can’t do it alone.

And that’s completely fine. Seeking help and accepting support from others in your difficult times is nothing to be embarrassed about.

This doesn’t mean you are weak. Your loved ones are there to support you.

Be open with your closest friends and family. Tell them you’re struggling after the breakup and that their support would mean a lot to you.

Remember – you would likely do the same for them. It’s true that you can’t expect them to drop everything all the time, but they won’t turn you away when you need them.

New friends and new hobbies

Moreover, this is a wonderful opportunity to make some new connections. Use the extra time you now have, previously spent with your ex, to explore new interests.

Ever thought about picking up a new pastime? It’s not only a great way to meet new people but also an excellent distraction from your breakup woes.

The relationship you have with yourself

Ultimately, the most important thing is to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. While it’s great to lean on friends and family, remember that ultimately, you are your own most reliable source of support.

Here’s a tip. Imagine you’re comforting a friend who’s just ended a relationship.

What words of comfort would you offer? What advice would you give?

You’d likely pamper them. Perhaps with some ice cream or a TV show marathon, right?

You’d let them weep as much as they need, listen to them talk about their relationship for hours.

So, why not treat yourself with the same kindness?

Professional assistance

If these approaches aren’t working and your recovery is dragging, consider seeking professional advice. Yes, time heals, but consulting with someone who understands can speed up the healing process.

Plenty of relationship experts are trained to help you navigate post-relationship challenges.

Moreover, if it’s heavily impacting your mental well-being, don’t shy away from consulting a professional. Nobody will think less of you.

In fact, it’s a wise decision when you’re overwhelmed.

4. Discover the power to forgive

Forgiving someone who has wronged us can feel insurmountable. There they stand – the person who shattered your heart. And now you’re supposed to be okay with what they did?

It seems like an incredible feat, but you’re going to do it.

Not everyone can master forgiveness. It takes a truly big heart, and that’s who you are.

Yes, forgiveness won’t happen instantly. It’s something you move towards gradually.

Why is forgiveness crucial?

But why is it crucial to muster the courage to forgive? Does the person who hurt you so deeply deserve your forgiveness?

Not at all! But you aren’t doing it for them – you’re doing it for yourself.

Yes, forgive them even if they never seek your forgiveness, even if they never acknowledge their wrongdoings.

Essentially, you have two options: You can let resentment consume you, live in the past filled with anger and bitterness, or you can release it and move forward.

But remember this: holding on to grudges doesn’t affect your ex. It doesn’t hurt them and doesn’t serve as any form of retribution.

The only person it’s hurting is you. It makes you bitter. More critically: it keeps you mentally locked in that past relationship.

That’s why releasing yourself from a relationship, including all the grudges, is essential.

5. Self-blame is a destructive path

More importantly than forgiving your ex is forgiving yourself.

It’s easy to fall into the pit of self-blame after a breakup. You might ponder endlessly about what you could have done differently.

Some even start regretting starting the relationship, especially if it was with someone toxic.

How did I miss seeing their true colors? How did I overlook all the obvious warning signs?

Why didn’t I leave sooner? Why did I tolerate such bad treatment for so long?

Why did I think I could change them?

The key takeaway here is: what’s done is done. You can’t reverse time nor change the past, so why drain your energy over it?

If you were in a toxic relationship, it’s important to remember that you were the victim. Blaming yourself for the manipulations of someone else is not fair or accurate. The responsibility starts and ends with your abuser, not you.down. Celebrate every small victory and every step you take towards being more confident and self-assured.

Another usual pattern of self-criticism involves questioning your ability to keep the relationship going.

Should I have left earlier? Could something have been done to save us? Did I make a wise choice? Was it all my fault? Am I to blame for the split?

In such moments, remember that you put your utmost effort into preserving the relationship. You truly gave it your all, yet sometimes, things are just meant to fall apart. It wasn’t meant to last, and staying would have only hurt you more.

No, choosing your own well-being over staying in a harmful relationship wasn’t selfish. You preserved yourself, and that was absolutely the correct decision.

Therefore, please, absolve yourself for any small errors you committed. Back then, you did the best you could with what you knew and felt.

Invaluable Insights

Like the saying goes: The most significant insights come from experiences, not lessons. That’s precisely what you’ve gained: vital experiences from your relationship and the subsequent heartbreak.

I’m confident that these experiences have taught you more than you realize at the moment. Rather than dwelling on the negatives, view this as an opportunity for growth.

Focus on the positive aspects and the strengths the relationship endowed you with.

Above all, you now have a clear vision of what you seek and avoid in a partner. Your standards are set high, and I’m certain you’ll never settle for anything less.

And most importantly: this ordeal has made you much tougher. You now know your resilience, and nothing life throws your way can intimidate you.

The Dangers of the Blame Game

I cannot emphasize enough: Avoid the blame game with your ex at all costs. This holds true even if you’re still together but gathering the courage to end things.

What’s the benefit? Both of you have contributed your part, and blaming each other won’t bring any positive outcomes.

It will only worsen your feelings and at the end of the day, does assigning blame really matter?

6. Embrace No-contact

Moving on means you cannot remain friends with your ex. Seriously, it’s not feasible.

This wasn’t just a brief encounter; you built a life with this person. How could you possibly heal if they’re still around?

Some think staying close might aid their recovery. Believe me – it doesn’t.

Every relationship expert agrees: no contact is the healthiest choice. It’s what you’ll need if you truly care about your mental and emotional health.

Forget the daily texts, no checking up on one another, no involving mutual friends in your healing process, no bumping into each other at familiar spots, no excuses to stay connected…

No contact truly means zero communication.

Believe me – if you remove them from your environment, they’ll eventually fade from your heart and thoughts too. Moving on is impossible with their continual presence in your life.

This won’t be easy. You’ll desperately miss them and often feel the need to reach out.

But stand firm. Remember, this is essential for your recovery. Focus on not dwelling on how they might be feeling during this no-contact period.

Social Media Dynamics

Let’s address a crucial point: What about social media? Is blocking your ex on all platforms necessary or is it seen as rude?

It really depends on your situation. If you find yourself posting with them in mind or obsessively waiting for their updates, it’s better to block them immediately.

You might not want to block someone you’ve shared so much with, especially if the break was amicable.

Keep improving yourself. No matter how wonderful you are, there’s always space to grow.

However, this self-improvement journey should be for you, not to win your ex back or to impress future partners. Aim to be the best you can be for your own satisfaction.

Believe me, once you recognize your own worth, you’ll see that you deserve much better than what your ex could provide.

8. Rebound relationships aren’t the solution

When am I ready to date someone new? Will dating someone else help me forget my past love?

These questions are common among those seeking relationship advice. Considering inviting someone new into your life shows progress.

It indicates you’re open to the idea of standing beside someone who isn’t your ex. That’s a positive step!

But let’s think deeper about why you’re asking these questions.

If sufficient time has passed and you’ve worked through the stages of grief, perhaps you’re ready to start fresh.

However, if you’re still figuring out how to move on, perhaps you’re not quite ready yet.

Chances are, you might want a new relationship for the wrong reasons: to ease the pain, out of spite towards your ex, or to seamlessly continue where you left off with someone new.

Each of these motives suggests that a new relationship might do more harm than good.

In fact, this often leads to what’s known as a rebound relationship – dating someone new without truly being over your ex.

Why should you avoid rebounds?

What risks do they carry? Jumping into a rebound can seem like a fun distraction but it comes with issues.

Firstly, a rebound often leads to another heartbreak. You might find yourself looking for traits of your ex in the new person.

When you inevitably don’t find those traits, you have to face the reality that this relationship is not what you were truly seeking.

Furthermore, it’s an unhealthy way to heal. A rebound occupies your mind, but doesn’t allow you to process your feelings genuinely.

Instead of healing, your focus shifts entirely to someone new. This usually doesn’t last, and sooner or later, your suppressed emotions will surface.

Lastly, you end up harming someone else. You pull an unsuspecting person into your unresolved emotional turmoil.

Eventually, you may break their heart too, which isn’t fair to them, and doesn’t reflect well on you.

When will you be ready?

No one can say precisely when you’ll be ready to find someone new. But here’s what I recommend: don’t start a new relationship until you’re sure you’ve dealt with your emotional baggage.

There’s plenty of time to find your true soulmate. You can’t rush these things; they happen when they’re meant to.

Until then, embrace your single status and make the most of it. You’ll be grateful you did!

9. Allow time to work its wonders