9 Phrases All Narcissists Use When They Want To Manipulate You

Narcissists are masters at manipulation and gaslighting. They always find a way to get exactly what they want and wriggle out of any trouble they cause.

At one point, I was in a relationship with a narcissist without even realizing it. It wasn’t until later that I understood how much he controlled me and constantly played the victim. I often wondered if I was the one with issues or if I had dated a psychopath.

After watching a video, I learned that this was precisely his aim – to make me doubt myself. TikTok user @the_bat_wolf shared a video discussing common phrases narcissists use to manipulate you.

He identified himself as a “self-aware narcissist”, saying both he and toxic individuals he’d been with used these exact words. After listening to everything he mentioned, I must admit it all sounded incredibly familiar! He perfectly described my ex in just a 1-minute video; it was unsettling!

Here are the nine phrases he pointed out:

1. “Why do you always pick fights with me?”

This is a classic tactic they use when they know they’re in the wrong and want to dodge responsibility. It’s merely an attempt to shift blame and make you feel guilty, even when you’re trying to address an issue calmly.

2. “Why do you always exaggerate?”

Whenever they say this, they want to make you believe you’re exaggerating. In reality, your response is perfectly appropriate to the situation. This phrase made me doubt my sanity and think I was overdoing it.

3. “This discussion is over. I’m out of here!”

When they don’t get their way, they use this tactic to change your mind. Narcissists know how to gain your sympathy and instill fear by threatening to leave, making you afraid of being alone.

4. “I suppose I’m just a worthless piece of trash.”

This is another ploy to gain your sympathy by putting themselves down. Their goal is to make you feel bad for saying something, even if it wasn’t hurtful, so they can escape responsibility for their actions.

5. “Think whatever you want to think.”

If narcissists realize you’re onto them and can’t escape, they won’t admit defeat. Instead, they’ll use this phrase when they have no other defense, preventing you from discussing the issue further.

6. “Why are you so overly sensitive?”

It’s either you’re overreacting or you’re too sensitive; there’s no middle ground! Narcissists will never acknowledge your feelings. They’ll just try to gaslight you until you believe your feelings are invalid.

7. “Why do you blow everything out of proportion?”

Similar to saying you’re overreacting or too sensitive, they use this phrase to make you think you’re the issue. By downplaying their actions, they make their behavior seem less problematic. My ex always said I was crazy for getting upset over things he deemed minor.

8. “You’re out of your mind!”

Never believe a narcissist when they say this. They only use this phrase to make you doubt your feelings and think they are the real victim. You are the only true victim here! Don’t let them manipulate you.

9. “You never appreciate me!”

I remember my ex would always bring up all the nice things he did for me whenever I confronted him about something he didn’t like. Then he’d use this famous phrase, claiming I was ungrateful. Of course, narcissistic people do this to make you feel guilty and shift attention away from their behavior.

Some commenters suggested other phrases that should be added to this list.

Gaslighting is one of their key talents, according to many, and I couldn’t agree more!

Be wary of these and similar phrases, and don’t let anyone manipulate you! They’ll do anything to make you think you’re the problem, but stay smart and don’t fall for their tricks!