You Are My Biggest Disappointment

What you did to me was beyond awful. You crushed my dreams and obliterated my world. You subjected me to a level of pain I was certain I couldn’t endure.

But I did endure it. I learned not just to cope, but to thrive. I survived you and the ordeal you put me through. Someway, life moved on without you.

I won’t sugarcoat it—it was far from easy.

Initially, I could see no end to my suffering. I believed I would be tormented for the rest of my days because you left me. I was sure I could never move past you.

In the beginning, I held on to the hope that you would return. I hoped you would realize the grave error you made by leaving me and attempt to make amends.

Above everything, I hoped you would understand the depth of your love for me and that we could pick up where we left off. So, I waited for that moment.

I was prepared to forgive you for leaving and for all the hurt you caused, just to have you back.

However, time went by and you didn’t return. Meanwhile, life unfolded around me while I seemed stuck in one place, waiting for you.

Then, one morning, after quite some time, I awoke and you were not the first thing on my mind. It took hours before I even thought of you.

Others may find this trivial, but to me, it was monumental. Eventually, I found myself spontaneously smiling again.

That’s when I knew I was healing. For the first time, I had hope that I would eventually move on from you.

And now that time has arrived. I truly survived you. And I truly forgave you for all that happened between us.

I forgave you for leaving without a second glance and for never considering how your actions affected me. I forgive you for everything, except for one thing.

I cannot forgive you for being such a disappointment to me.

Let’s be honest — neither of us was perfect. Yet, I believed we were perfect together. That’s what you convinced me of, right?

You went out of your way to gain my trust and portray yourself as someone dependable and mature.

Don’t misunderstand — I always recognized your faults and accepted them as part of who you are. Yet, despite those faults, I still saw you as incredible.

I viewed you as a wonderful man and person, sure of the integrity of your character. I believed you were a man of his word, someone who would never betray my trust.

I trusted you with my life and never thought you’d hurt me the way you did.

But your departure and everything you did afterward showed me how wrong I was. You appeared great only in my eyes.

Contrary to what I thought, you weren’t that great man or person — I just imagined you were. Rather, you were simply my greatest love.

I came to the realization that I had worked myself into believing you were a better person than you really were. And then it dawned on me — I never truly knew you.

I don’t know if you pretended to be someone else entirely or if I simply saw you in a light that wasn’t there. I will never know if you changed after leaving me or if your true colors had always been hidden.

Because you began acting as though I had never existed, as if our time together was nothing.

When you left without an explanation, without a single word, you proved that our relationship, and I, meant nothing to you. You did everything you swore you’d never do.

And now, you have become the man you vowed you would never be. Now, you stand as my greatest disappointment.