Lesbian Wife: 10 Telltale Signs You’re Living With A Closet Lesbian
You married a woman who appeared to be your ideal partner. Your love for her was deep, and she truly appeared to reciprocate those feelings!
However, you’ve recently begun to genuinely question her sexual orientation. So… what has changed?
As uncomfortable as it may be to consider to yourself ”Is my wife a lesbian in love with someone else… What should I do?”, it’s a harsh reality that many men encounter.
I urge you to continue reading and discover the specific indicators suggesting that your spouse might be a hidden lesbian.
It’s painful to reflect on how just a year ago you were envisioning a wonderful wedding with your fiancée, and now you’re wrestling with thoughts like ”My wife may be gay; how did I miss the signs?”
At times, individuals who identify as LGBTQ just aren’t ready to confront their truth, much less disclose it to others.
Coming out requires immense bravery, and as a concealed lesbian, your partner might have been attempting to navigate her feelings.
It’s likely that she never meant to cause you pain by being involved with a woman (especially if that woman is her best friend), but understanding one’s sexual identity can be quite intricate, and some might take longer to embrace their authentic self.
See also: Why Am I Struggling to Find Love? 10 Reasons Preventing You From Discovering The One
What Should I Do About My Lesbian Wife?
To start, confirm whether your wife truly identifies as being part of the LGBTQ community.
Even if you’ve known her since high school, individuals can harbor secrets until they’re prepared to reveal them.
For full honesty, my first serious relationship was with someone who also turned out to be gay.
We were together for quite some time, and it was only when I noticed some questionable posts on his social media and our intimate life became strained that I began to recognize the signs.
This process can be bewildering, painful, and exhausting. While you may yearn to grasp the situation and come to terms with it, feelings of anger and heartbreak are completely valid.
No one teaches you how to navigate these experiences; there is no handbook for confronting such delicate and multifaceted issues.
What’s crucial to remember is that this isn’t a choice your wife made with the intention of hurting you.
If your home life was once idyllic, trust that it truly was then.
Individuals who conceal their sexual orientation often feel lost and ashamed, causing them to live a life they desperately want to be authentic but aren’t able to.
Everyone deserves to live as their true selves, no matter how challenging it is to welcome that truth.
If you suspect your wife might be a lesbian, the following indicators may assist in clarifying your doubts.
Regardless of what you discover, please approach the situation with empathy and respect. As tough as this is for you, can you fathom what it’s like for her?
See also: 10 Key Differences Between Love And Infatuation
10 Clear Signs Your Wife Might Be Gay
This information reveals key indicators regarding your wife and could guide your next steps.
May this offer you clarity and tranquility, regardless of the outcome.
Rather than dwelling on why she kept this from you before your marriage, concentrate on supporting her through this transition.
1. She holds the reins in your relationship
While this alone may not necessitate alarm, it’s merely one of several traits that a wife who is a closeted lesbian might exhibit.
Is she dominant and resolute? Does she take charge of significant decisions?
Be truthful… who leads the relationship? If your wife is hiding her true self, she probably insists on things being done her way (or it’s not happening).
She might be reluctant to give you authority or fully trust your decisions.
In the end, she simply does not accept refusal, and you often find yourself questioning your role in the marriage.
If this resonates, continue reading, as you may find many more indicators that parallel your experiences.
2. She has little interest in conventional femininity
Your wife likely doesn’t spend hours in the bathroom preparing to go out.
She prefers to keep it low-key. At home, she generally wears relaxed clothing, and when heading out, she can be ready in no time.
She identifies as a woman but doesn’t exhibit traditional femininity. Many of your acquaintances may obsess over their appearance, but she does not.
Even during her high school days, she was uninterested in stereotypically feminine activities; they never suited her.
Reflecting on this, it might have been your initial clue (though it may not have registered at the time).
As you process this information, I hope it’s shedding light on the fact that your wife has carried this for quite a while.
3. She favors short, untidy hairstyles
By itself, this isn’t particularly alarming, but combined with other signals, it raises a red flag.
Your wife has never gravitated towards lengthy hairstyles. She doesn’t maintain long locks and finds it bothersome.
Short hair is much more her style!
The trend of shorter cuts has long been favored within queer communities.
If your wife has donned this hairstyle during your marriage (or perhaps even at present), it’s a strong indicator that she may not identify as heterosexual, much as you might wish otherwise.
However, acknowledging these signs now can prevent deeper complications down the line.
See also: How To Move On from a Past Relationship: Comprehensive Guide
4. Her body language speaks volumes
Body language often reveals more about a person than their words can convey.
Before you tied the knot, she was never one to play the gentle role. She carried herself as she pleased and dined unbothered by onlookers.
She doesn’t adhere to typical feminine posture when out; in fact, she often embodies a more masculine demeanor in her movements.
Interestingly enough, this very trait previously attracted you to her.
You admired that she fit in with your male friends, playfully hitting your arm and showing a preference for traditionally masculine subjects over more feminine ones.
This allowed you to share your interests freely without restraint.
However, you’re now realizing that these traits could have been significant warnings that you’re only beginning to acknowledge.
5. She isn’t fond of romantic comedies
You once found this characteristic charming! Previously, whenever you dated someone, you were often subjected to cringe-worthy, overly sentimental films. But not with her!
In fact, she abhors them more than you ever could (if that’s even possible). Those contrived romantic moments in movies really irritate her.
She favors thrillers filled with action and hilarious comedies instead.
This made for some lively and enjoyable evenings for you both, but it raises concerns about her character.
While this aspect brought you joy, perhaps it’s a cue to wake up and reassess your relationship.
If she refuses to indulge in a single cheesy film on a cozy Netflix night, is it not time to contemplate the relationship’s dynamics?
6. She looks down on pampering like mani-pedis
Lesbians typically show less interest in manicures and nail art compared to straight women.
They often dismiss the idea of having elaborately painted or long nails as bothersome.
She may have led you to believe that long nails were impractical due to her job, but the reality reveals an entirely different perspective.
Short nails are generally more accommodating for lesbians (the reasons are obvious), and they simply lack the motivation to indulge in intricate nail designs (especially not for their toes). After all, who has the availability to commit to that?
See further: Romance in College: 17 Tips To Make It Success
7. She’s always fit in with the guys
Seeing all these indicators might leave you asking how you missed these clues before, right?
Often, it takes time to recognize the underlying messages.
It’s likely that you pondered these aspects previously but didn’t allow yourself to take them seriously.
Certainly, your wife has always been regarded as one of the guys. She never fit the traditional feminine mold; her laughter was always loud and distinct, and her wardrobe was not about high fashion.
She felt more in her element among male friends, a refreshing dynamic during your courtship.
Yet, the reality of the situation is akin to dawning clarity.
8. She shared stories about college exploration
But everyone does that, right? For sure, the idea of her being intimate with another woman turned you on like crazy!
It was incredibly exciting to think about your wife kissing other ladies. Previously, you never perceived it as an indication of anything significant.
Yet now, while reflecting on past experiences, you recognize that the signs were apparent all along. You just preferred to overlook them.
This is your partner, your confidant, and your accomplice. And she isn’t quite the person you believed she was.
But why would she choose to marry you if she was aware of her sexual orientation?
That’s the crux of the matter. She wasn’t fully aware of it herself. Individuals go through phases, and over time, they begin to understand their true selves.
Your wife simply took a little longer to embrace her authentic identity.
9. She enjoys being flirtatious with other females
But you believed all girls act this way. It must be some kind of unspoken rule among women, right?
Women supporting one another was something you appreciated, and you admired that your wife embodies the spirit of female empowerment.
She would frequently exchange glances with other females in clubs (so alluring, right?).
She never misses a chance to compliment her female friends on their appearance (she’s such a thoughtful friend).
She ignores the handsome men passing by, yet no attractive woman escapes her notice (and you often join in too!)
All those traits that led you to believe you had the coolest and most progressive, girl-empowering wife are actually indicators of a concealed truth she hadn’t come to terms with yet.
See also: 12 Reasons Why Your Second Love Is The Greatest One Of All
10. Your intimate life has lost its spark
Now it all makes sense, right? At least you can be reassured that it’s not your fault!
This revelation might not ease your discomfort, but facing the truth is certainly preferable to clinging to false hopes (which are unlikely to come true).
Your wife is gay. This realization will require time to digest, so don’t hesitate to give yourself a moment to process everything.
Find an appropriate time to approach your wife and engage in a respectful conversation to seek clarity.
While you might have come to terms with your realization, she may still be processing her own feelings about this change.
She chose to marry someone while being aware of her orientation. If you’re feeling hurt, she’s likely experiencing her own level of sadness.
The future is yours to mold. Be gentle, patient, and give her the consideration and understanding she deserves.
Although she may identify as gay, the love she has for you remains unchanged.
See also: 15 Top Female-To-Female Attraction Signs
