I Will Never Forgive You For Breaking Me

Three years have passed, yet I can still feel your lips on mine, your hand in mine, your breath on my skin.

I never imagined I’d miss someone so deeply, or feel this shattered for so long. But here I am, desperate for it to end. I need you out of my mind; my thoughts can’t bear it anymore.

I want you to stop haunting my daydreams, to quit surprising me with the same old pain and hurt, again and again.

Please, just pack up and leave my heart. The place you once had is no longer yours.

You broke me when you used me, and you used me because you were bored. Bored of your everyday life, your unexciting spouse, your dull job.

Wait… You were married? Funny enough, I no longer feel guilty when I think of her. I just pity her, for having you as a husband, for your kids having a liar and a cheat for a father.

Wait… You had children too? Right, so more people were at risk of getting hurt than just me when you decided you were bored and needed some fun. But you only ever thought about yourself.

Or should I say, you only ever thought with one part of your body.

I don’t fool myself into thinking you ever loved me. I know you never did, and likely never would. It might hurt more if we loved each other and couldn’t be together.

Yet, my heart still wants to believe you loved me, even a little.

That poor, fragile heart fell for you all those years ago. It pined for you, missed you, thought it would never see you again.

That poor, fragile heart went from that sad, one-sided love to finding you again, and knowing you wanted me this time.

That heart felt rich and strong, yearning for yours. But you never gave me your heart—not even a tiny bit.

You just wanted to sleep with me, talk about what your wife wouldn’t, and have fun. I was your lover, your emotional support, your fun friend. Yet, you discarded me like I was nothing in the end.

You always said, “It is what it is.” That’s how you avoided labeling us and how you justified your actions to your family and to me—the one who loved you for so long.

When you messaged me on Facebook that day, I should have just ignored it or deleted you.

My heart will never forgive my brain for responding. And I will never forgive you for shattering me like this.