This Year I’m Finally Ready To Accept That It Wasn’t My Fault

You know, when hearts shatter, it’s never a balanced pain. Of the two of us, I truly believe mine broke more deeply than yours.

Honestly, I can’t help but wonder if your heart even felt the crack at all. Did it sting for just a moment, or did you simply take a brief pause to think of me?

I’m quite certain that while I tossed and turned, struggling to sleep, you were peacefully resting. Knowing you were okay while I felt like a complete disaster only shattered me further.

Every night, I’ve replayed the moments trying to pinpoint where I went wrong. What did I do that made you so uncaring about my feelings?

I’ve been really hard on myself for such a long time. The pain of not having you and coming to terms with the reality that you’re truly gone felt as crushing as the heartbreak itself.

There were moments I despised myself for letting you slip away. I kept thinking if I had only tried a bit harder or acted differently, we’d still be together. But there was nothing more I could have done to keep you by my side.

I poured my heart into you. I fought harder than I ever had, and even though I wasn’t flawless, I tried to be everything you needed. I embraced your flaws, but you never fully accepted mine.

Eventually, I realized I had given my all, but it still wasn’t sufficient to make you stay. You were never meant to remain in my life.

For quite a while, I sank into sadness. I became trapped in memories, endlessly replaying moments and seeking answers to what went wrong.

It was hard to even get out of bed, and when I forced myself upright, I’d see a stranger looking back at me in the mirror. It’s unsettling to face someone you don’t recognize, you know?

I’ve heard many people share resolutions for this year, but I have just one—to stop berating myself and finally confront the truth.

I’m getting ready to embrace the idea that it wasn’t my fault. You treated me poorly, yet you still chose to walk away.

Instead of welcoming a fresh start once toxicity left my life, I lingered in the hurt you caused.

You had a way of making me feel like everything was on me, and I suppose when you turned your back, you left a piece of that blame imprinted on me.

For a long time, that part of you stayed with me, but I’m now ready to remove every trace of your influence from my life.

I’m finally capable of recognizing that nothing I did could keep you here. I’ve walked through the stages of mourning, anger, and now I’ve arrived at acceptance.

In this acceptance phase, I can see that you were simply a toxic force in my life that I failed to recognize at first.

You were a lesson wrapped in heartache, someone who entered my world to teach me something before moving on.

Yet, somehow, the turmoil you put me through, along with the struggles I faced myself, has made me stronger.

I’ve finally made peace with myself, realizing that I was more than enough.

In life, if someone makes you feel inadequate, it’s a reflection of them, not of you.

You always made me feel like I was falling short. But this year, I’m ready to see that it was you who was misaligned.

I’m done apologizing or hoping to bring you back. I won’t allow myself to be a victim anymore or to silence my voice or take blame for what I didn’t do.

And I refuse to let you project your fears onto me. All I wanted was to love you and be loved in return, but all I ended up with was heartbreak.

So wishing to return to something unhealthy holds no merit. I wish I had come to this realization sooner, but I know it’s never too late.

I’m not afraid to let go of what never belonged to me. I’m done fearing the loss of someone who was never good for me. I’m no longer placing blame for what isn’t my fault.

This year, I’m ready to accept that it wasn’t my fault and to finally move forward. I’m ready to step into this year without the weight of a broken relationship holding me back.