9 Signs You Are Going Through Relationship PTSD

A profoundly damaging relationship with a partner who is emotionally or physically abusive can result in enduring trauma that lingers long after the relationship has concluded.

Nowadays, this type of trauma is often referred to as relationship PTSD, though in professional terms, it is more accurately described as post-traumatic relationship syndrome.

Despite being a relatively new concept in the mental health arena, post-traumatic relationship syndrome is a genuine experience for individuals currently dealing with its effects.

This syndrome shares similarities with classic PTSD, underscoring how a toxic relationship can inflict serious damage on a person’s psyche, which is a deeply troubling reality.

If you’ve endured an emotionally or physically abusive partnership, it’s possible you may not even recognize the gravity of your situation.

Recognizing relationship PTSD can be challenging as symptoms can overlap with other issues outside of the abusive context.

You both fear and desire commitment

You resolved not to jump into another relationship after enduring a toxic experience. Yet, time has elapsed, and date offers have continuously been turned down.

You long for closeness with another individual, but it simultaneously terrifies you. The last time you allowed someone into your life, you unknowingly supplied them with the means to harm you.

The fear that history will repeat itself looms large—that if you open up to someone new, your judgment may again be clouded.

You were blind to the initial signs of manipulation and warning flags indicating abusive conduct, and the thought of missing those signs again is frightening.

You see no silver lining

Your past experiences have completely altered your perspective on life. Once an optimist, you now constantly anticipate negative outcomes to the point that it induces anxiety.

You consistently envision dismal scenarios, convinced that you are jinxed and everything you touch fails.

In truth, this negative mindset reinforces a cycle of despair in your life. For instance, if you worry excessively about being abandoned by your boyfriend, your nagging behavior may push him away, leaving him with no choice but to exit your life.

Your insecurities deepen

Prior to the relationship, self-doubt was something you didn’t recognize in yourself. You had confidence in your decisions and no issues with trusting your judgment.

However, now everything has changed; you perceive yourself as unworthy, and the notion of confidence seems unfamiliar.

Emotional abusers typically target your self-esteem first. They dedicate themselves to dismantling that foundation.

If any insecurities exist, they will exploit them to their advantage.

As your insecurities grow, it becomes simpler for them to manipulate and control your life according to their needs.

Accepting less than what you rightfully deserve in future relationships

Even if you have ended the abusive relationship and wish to begin anew, there is a significant likelihood that you will settle for less.

Your experiences may have distorted your perception, leading you to think that anyone who shows slightly more kindness than your ex is sufficient.

A moment of reflection may reveal that it’s effortless for your ex to be eclipsed by others. He had treated you poorly, so merely being better seems like a significant upgrade.

Nonetheless, this doesn’t imply you should accept anything that comes your way. You deserve a healthy, loving partnership, and aligning with someone unsuitable will keep that from happening.

Experiencing intrusive memories

Flashbacks are commonly experienced by individuals who have suffered from physical abuse, placing them in a state of constant anxiety that the trauma may recur.

Encountering anything reminiscent of the abuser can initiate vivid flashbacks, dragging you back into past fears.

During a flashback, it feels as if the event is happening in that very moment, where all sensations—sight, smell, touch—of the traumatic event flood back to you.

Struggling with insomnia and distressing dreams

Dreams are closely tied to our subconscious mind. Following a deeply troublesome or abusive relationship, your subconscious addresses many unresolved issues.

People dealing with PTSD from relationships may frequently awaken from dreams, such as gasping as if drowning, or in sheer terror as a result of nightmares.

Additionally, insomnia often becomes a cruel companion. After experiencing such turmoil, drifting off to sleep without disturbance can seem impossible.

Physical health issues arise

Your health can often serve as a mirror reflecting the trauma and strain endured in a relationship. Noticeable physical manifestations can include sudden weight fluctuations, either weight gain or loss.

As time passes, more serious health concerns may surface, which could encompass hypertension, digestive issues, skin flare-ups, or other unexplained ailments.

Constant self-blame

If you found yourself in a relationship with a partner who frequently embraced the role of the victim, taking the blame for everything could become a reflexive action for you.

He likely continued to assert that the issues arose from your actions, suggesting that you incited his negative behavior or mistreatment. Despite an inner awareness that this narrative was false, self-doubt persisted in your mind.

The lasting effects of that emotional turmoil have become ingrained in you. You may still be reflecting on whether there was a different approach you could have taken that might have changed things.

Furthermore, you may find yourself holding guilt for not recognizing the signs of his treatment sooner. The reality is, none of this rests on your shoulders—you have simply been conditioned to bear the blame.

You are experiencing anxiety

Experiencing anxiety may be common following a relationship marked by toxicity and abuse.

Common manifestations include racing thoughts, difficulty with breathing, clammy hands, panic episodes, and more. Anxiety often aligns with symptoms of relationship-related PTSD.

If you suspect you are enduring PTSD from a relationship, don’t hesitate to seek assistance. You’re not alone in this journey; many individuals have faced similar challenges.

This is precisely why support networks exist.

The most detrimental choice is to remain silent, so at the very least begin by sharing your experiences with someone; it’s ideal if that person is a professional.

PTSD from relationships can be addressed. Remember, none of the burden is yours to carry, and the first step is to recognize that truth yourself.