5 Crucial Things I Learned From A Destructive Relationship

About a year back, I found myself in an entirely different space. I was unknowingly disconnected from the concept of self-love. The notion of my own value was alien to me. Accustomed to feeling inadequate and criticized for every minor mistake (as per Your standards), I accepted this as the norm. My understanding of love and appreciation was skewed, all stemming from You.

You made me feel that I should be grateful for the meager pieces of what You labeled as “love.”

Now, I stand transformed.

I have gained the courage to advocate for myself and embrace the desire for something superior. Though the journey took considerable time, I have come to understand my worth and have the wisdom to refuse treatment that reduces me to a mere object, deserving of affection and focus only at Your whim. Here are the insights Your toxic presence has empowered me with:

1. My value is crystal clear to me

Throughout our time together, I often hesitated to express my views or, heaven forbid, oppose You on anything. That was strictly forbidden. But now, after countless years of bottled-up feelings, I can confidently say I no longer care about Your opinion on my worth. I am FAR MORE than Your depreciating judgments suggested. I exceed anything You could ever comprehend, and now that I acknowledge this, I refuse to tolerate disrespect from anyone. So, here’s to You.

2. Saying no is my right

I was constantly pressured to align with all your decisions and was never afforded the luxury of my opinion. You consistently presented your choices as for my own good, suggesting I lacked the capability to make decisions about us—or even my own life.

That era has concluded.

Once I liberated myself from You, I recognized the extent of my denial and the control I am entitled to in my own existence. After all, it’s MY life, and who gives You the authority to dictate my actions? Thankfully, I’ve moved past that and now, I relish the ability to say “No” freely, anytime and to anyone.

3. I owe no explanations

If I choose to go out with friends and dance without checking in with a partner every half hour, that’s precisely what I’ll do! No one has ownership over my body or my choices, and I will revel in my joy without feeling remorse! I deserve to embrace fun, and I am no longer obligated to justify it to anyone whatsoever.

4. I am worthy of abundant love

That’s right; I said it. The controlling aspects of Your twisted perception of love are behind me, and I am grateful to have come to terms with how unhealthy my situation with You truly was. I had been so thankful for any scrap of attention from You that I lost sight of what it truly means to love and be cherished—the real, authentic, selfless kind, flaws and all. It disgusts me to have once believed I didn’t deserve that. I’m thankful for the awakening that allowed me to recognize and close the chapter on Your manipulative ways.

5. I select my companions

The reality that You cunningly won my heart while hiding your true motives does not grant You a claim on my happiness. The person I fell for is not who You ended up being. It’s appalling how You deceived me into believing that my love for You was genuine and that You were my only choice. YOU NEVER WERE, and now that I am enlightened, I am completely finished with You. I am entitled to seek someone who values and loves me for who I truly am, even if that means embracing solitude for the moment.

Ultimately, I’ve come to understand: I would rather spend the upcoming years of my life unaccompanied (read: single) than a second longer with a manipulative master like Yourself.

No longer am I the innocent, self-doubting girl You once knew. You would likely be astonished at the extent of my growth since mustering the strength to leave You behind. I have never felt more vibrant, and I eagerly await the adventures life has in store for me. One thing is certain… YOU are the reason I am who I am today, and for that, I express my gratitude.
I wish for you to receive everything You deserve, and more.

Xoxo,
The One Who Liberated Herself