This Is How I Accepted We Were Done

I clung to my unrealistic dreams about us for as long as possible. No matter what happened, I’ve always been an unwavering optimist when it comes to love, and you were no different.

I tend to look for the best, even when the truth is clearly showing me otherwise.

What can I say? I’m just a hopeless romantic. I crafted every excuse I could to keep in touch with you.

Even when there was no reason for us to talk, I’d create a reason just to keep your presence in my life, in whatever small way I could manage.

I couldn’t bring myself to admit that you had already removed me from your life.

It required a lot of anger and resentment for me to face the reality that we were finished. While I clung to the idea of salvaging what I thought was left, I failed to see that ‘us’ had vanished long ago.

It was merely me, desperately trying to restore something that had long since faded away.

I was naively trying to push through the challenges we faced, not realizing that you had already moved on. That realization was devastating for me.

It was in that moment I recognized the truth I feared to confront. We were completely done, and you had found someone new.

It hit me hard. I had to give up the fantasy that you still cared for me the way I did for you.

Being so in love with you, seeing you with someone else felt like a knife piercing my heart over and over.

At the time, it was incredibly painful, but now I understand it was necessary for me to finally release the notion of a future with you. You simply no longer fit in it.

As painful as it was to acknowledge, I am grateful for seeing you with her. I don’t think I would’ve mustered the strength to let go otherwise.

That was the last moment I interacted with you. I knew I had to call it quits.

By that stage, I was solely inflicting pain on myself. I was the one preventing myself from healing, despite how much I needed it.

So, I took charge of my situation. I couldn’t continue to blame you when I was the only one stuck in the past, still pining for a love that had been absent from my life for months.

I’ll admit, although I made a conscious decision to stop contacting you, I still kept an eye on your new relationships.

I wanted to understand what it was about her that made you move on so effortlessly.

But then it dawned on me. As long as I continued to think about you, I wouldn’t be able to heal and let go.

You had clearly moved ahead; it was time for me to erase you from my mind completely and stop thinking of you.

It was incredibly difficult, but I did it. I stopped following your life. I stopped inquiring about you from our mutual friends.

I chose to act as if you didn’t exist. And it turned out to be the best choice I ever made.

I know our relationship was genuine. We shared wonderful moments together. I’ll never regret any of it. Perhaps we simply ran our course. Accepting that was just the final step.

It took me somewhat longer than I wished, yet here I am. Ready to open my heart again.

I’ve finally climbed out of the pit I dug for myself. I can see a light ahead.

And most importantly, I now realize we were never meant to be.

I’m not the woman destined to share your forever, and I can finally voice that without collapsing into despair. I’m genuinely okay now.