10 Warning Signs You’re Dating An Alcoholic (And What You Can Do)
Has your partner started consuming alcohol in larger amounts recently? Or maybe you’ve entered a new relationship with someone who constantly has a drink in hand?
Could it be that you’re dating someone struggling with alcoholism?
It’s important to note that not every individual who enjoys drinking necessarily has a problem with alcohol. The journey towards alcohol abuse is often a slow and gradual process.
Many people turn to alcohol as a means of escaping their issues or personal struggles.
Mental health concerns, including anxiety and depression, frequently contribute to high levels of alcohol consumption.
Being in a relationship with someone who might have an alcohol use disorder can be quite demanding and may impact your mental and physical wellbeing. Even in a relatively conflict-free relationship, the stress associated with a partner’s drinking problem can be overwhelming.
This highlights the necessity of recognizing early indicators of alcohol addiction, comprehending its effects on your relationship, and figuring out ways to assist both your partner and yourself.
Is Your Partner An Alcoholic? – 10 Warning Signs Of A Drinking Issue
They primarily seek out social gatherings where alcohol is present
A significant early indication of alcoholism is the tendency to only participate in events where alcoholic drinks are available.
If your partner is selective about which venues to visit, it may be due to restrictions on drinking there.
You can identify you’re with an alcoholic if they thrive in the company of others who share similar drinking habits. This extends to other forms of substance abuse as well.
Individuals with addiction issues often prefer associating with others who indulge in the same behaviors as them.
Dating can be a real hassle, I understand.
They rely on alcohol for emotional support
Relying on alcohol as a means of handling life’s challenges is another red flag for a potential alcohol use disorder. This often manifests as drinking to escape various feelings or situations.
Typically, this individual will consume alcohol when feeling down, upset, or disheartened to forget their problems and alleviate stress. They might also drink during moments of joy or celebrations.
The absence of any clear rules or occasions regarding drinking is evident.
To them, alcohol transforms into the primary source of comfort that aids them in managing life’s ups and downs and uplifts their spirits during difficult times.
They’ve cultivated a higher tolerance for alcohol
Regular consumption of alcohol is the sole method to build up an alcohol tolerance. The more they drink, the greater quantity they will require to achieve the prior effects.
Do you find that they must drink three times or even ten times the amount you do to feel tipsy?
Even if you’re already feeling very intoxicated, they may still require additional drinks to reach the same level you have.
If this rings true for you, it is likely that they have cultivated a tolerance to alcohol due to overindulging. This is commonly associated with being a high-functioning alcoholic.
This condition allows them to engage in a full workday the following morning, even if they indulged heavily on the previous night.
Their personality shifts when they consume alcohol
When they aren’t indulging in drinks, they may experience withdrawal signs like perspiration, quaking, and fluctuations in mood. However, it is not necessary for them to be in a state of extreme intoxication for their personality and mood to change drastically.
They may start off feeling introverted and timid, only to morph into an aggressive, loud persona after a few drinks. Alternatively, their demeanor could shift from kind to hostile.
A quick transformation in their behavior after just a few drinks signifies that alcohol is heavily influencing them.
They might lose self-regulation as drinking increasingly becomes a prominent part of their life. It becomes crucial to watch these changes when they begin drinking.
Engaging with them when sober feels challenging
Being in a relationship with an alcoholic can lead to significant frustration. One of the indications of their problematic drinking is the struggle to effectively communicate with them while they are sober.
You will observe that they struggle to concentrate on your words and seem frustrated, floating in their thoughts. This is likely due to their yearning for alcohol.
During sober moments, they may not truly reflect their real selves as they grapple with interpersonal issues and daily hurdles without the aid of alcohol.
The most straightforward discussions can become exceedingly challenging when it comes to maintaining dialogue with them.
See also: My Experience as the Daughter of an Alcoholic: Pain and Resilience
They rationalize drinking in every scenario
Graduation celebration? Time to drink! Having a rough day at work? Time to drink! Feeling a bit lethargic? Time to drink!
If someone views every possible life moment as a prime opportunity to drink, then indeed, they “may” have an issue with alcohol.
I’ve been contemplating this frequently, and I’ve come to the conclusion that a significant portion of our addictions are heavily influenced by media sources. Do you understand why?
Because alcohol is ubiquitous in our surroundings. It flourishes across social platforms, television, lyrics in songs, and beyond.
No matter where you are, or what you are tuning into, it’s likely you will encounter alcohol depicted as the miraculous substance that swiftly resolves all challenges and simplifies our existence.
We are often oblivious to this, yet we gather all this information and integrate it into our everyday routines. This is one reason why individuals may use any scenario as a pretext for consuming alcohol.
**Title 2: Personal Struggles Linked to Alcohol Consumption**
I grew up in a neighborhood where many families faced challenges tied to alcohol.
They would distress their families, lose jobs with frequency, and find themselves in embarrassing situations repeatedly, only to repeat the cycle.
An individual without an alcohol issue will refrain from messing up their life repeatedly under the influence of drinking.
They will comprehend that consuming alcohol isn’t a remedy for their issues; rather, it is a problem in itself.
However, someone suffering from a drinking issue won’t be bothered by any of these realities. They will persist in drinking even as their life unravels because of it.
Being in a relationship with someone who has a drinking problem can be profoundly challenging, so it’s essential to bear in mind that there’s absolutely no justification for lowering your relationship standards.
**Title 3: Lack of Discrimination in Alcohol Preferences**
Typically, individuals who enjoy drinking have their preferred alcoholic beverages and remain loyal to them.
You might have noticed it in films countless times, where a character consistently orders the same beverage at a bar.
Should their preferred drink not be available, they might refuse any alternatives and abstain from drinking entirely. However, that is not the case with an individual who struggles with alcohol dependence.
If they can’t indulge in their drink of choice, they will willingly accept whatever alcohol is offered to them.
It could be the least expensive beer or the most basic wine, but to them, any form of alcohol suffices. This is the primary distinction between a casual drinker and a person facing alcohol dependency.
They always manage to get their hands on alcohol
I have a hoodie that features a phrase: “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” It took some time for me to grasp the essence of its meaning.
If your significant other always finds a means to acquire alcohol, there’s likely an issue present.
Do they claim they can’t afford dinner but seem to have money for alcohol consistently?
When faced with a choice of purchases, do they always select alcohol? If yes, this highlights that their drinking is their top priority.
See also: 5 Signs You Might Be Involved With A Toxic Partner
They may have a history of alcoholism in their family
Does your partner hail from a background with a notable prevalence of alcoholism, opioid use, substance abuse, or similar issues?
Children raised by parents who abuse alcohol are more likely to develop their own drinking problems.
Family background greatly influences every child’s upbringing. Kids primarily learn from observing their caregivers, and detrimental role models can significantly shape their future conduct.
A friend of mine was in a relationship with someone recovering from alcoholism, and she mentioned that his parents had also battled with drinking issues.
If you are romantically involved with the offspring of an alcoholic, there is a likelihood they may face similar challenges. However, this reality isn’t universal for everyone.
3 Ways Alcoholism Can Influence Your Relationship Dynamics
Codependency Issues
Alcohol dependency can greatly influence your partnership in various ways, with codependency being one prominent aspect. When your significant other struggles with excessive drinking, your worries about their health tend to soar.
Being overly invested in their concerns often leads to disregarding your own necessities, and you may soon find yourself ensnared in a codependent dynamic.
Consider these questions to evaluate whether you are facing this situation:
• Is your emphasis predominantly on fulfilling your partner’s requirements rather than your own?
• Do you encounter the same issues repeatedly without noticing any advancement?
• Are you anxious about their reactions or the implications of your decision to leave?
• Does your self-worth appear contingent upon their view of you?
• Is assisting them affecting your individual life?
If most of your responses lean towards yes, you might be experiencing a codependent relationship.
Although it is natural to want to support your partner in battling addiction, it does not entail that your own life should come to a standstill for them.
Mutual drinking habits
Interacting with a partner who battles alcohol addiction can reflect poorly on the other person involved.
It’s perfectly fine to share a drink occasionally with your partner, but if you find yourself doing so frequently, it can signify a red flag.
Many individuals fail to recognize that they, too, have become significant drinkers due to their partner’s influence. This lack of awareness can adversely affect both emotional and physical health.
If your partner is urging you to drink alongside them even when you’re not inclined, it poses a serious concern (particularly if you have a tendency to be easily persuaded).
Toxic long-term relationships
Being entrenched in a long-standing relationship with someone who is an alcoholic can feel akin to being on a never-ending emotional roller coaster. The partner’s drinking habits and detrimental choices can severely affect your life quality.
Alcohol abuse is frequently correlated with mental health disorders, diminished self-worth, anxiety, and depression. The issue extends beyond mere drinking; it’s the underlying struggles that require attention.
If your partner is not inclined to commit to ending their drinking habit, there isn’t much you can pursue on your own, which could lead to considerable frustration over time.
See also: 10 Indicators That You Should Pause Your Dating Life
If You’re In A Relationship With An Alcoholic, Here’s How You Can Address It:
Talk to your partner about their alcohol issue
Approach your partner with compassion rather than judgment regarding their issues with alcohol. It’s best to choose a moment when they are sober, as discussions during intoxication are usually unproductive.
Instead of simply saying: Cut back on drinking! Such statements often don’t help and can intensify the situation (especially if anxiety is involved).
Avoid conflict or strong opinions, as these may lead to greater frustration and confusion. You want to steer clear of creating a power struggle within your relationship.
Concentrate on showing concern for their well-being and general lifestyle choices.
Motivate them to seek necessary support
Should your partner be facing issues with alcohol dependency, it’s crucial to support them in getting the assistance they require. This represents one of the most challenging phases in any addiction cycle.
If you label someone as an alcohol user, they might respond with: I’m not; I can quit drinking anytime. Many are convinced of this assertion, although it is frequently false.
The journey towards addiction recovery begins with the acknowledgment of the problem at hand.
You can communicate your concerns, but unless they recognize the issue themselves, you’re unlikely to facilitate any change. This also applies to individuals with drug dependencies.
Once they come to terms with their excessive alcohol consumption, they will be better equipped to initiate recovery.
Here are a few ways you can support someone dealing with alcohol addiction:
• support networks
• helplines for recovery
• rehabilitation facilities
Assistance is often just a phone call away. Numerous care centers provide renowned 12-step programs, but also consider seeking feedback from others who have faced similar challenges with alcoholism.
Every form of assistance and guidance is invaluable when dating someone seeking recovery from alcohol.
Reflect on your own contribution to their habits
Do you believe you might be unknowingly enabling their alcohol dependency?
If you are rationalizing their actions, handing them cash to sustain their dependence, or engaging in other similar behaviors, then you are inadvertently fostering their addiction.
Hence, it’s crucial to reflect on your position in perpetuating their habits. Often, individuals are unaware that they are assisting their partner in increasing alcohol consumption rather than guiding them toward sobriety.
Additionally, do you believe that you are pushing them into actions they are reluctant to take? They may resort to drinking because they feel unprepared for a relationship, yet your neediness or nagging is contributing to the situation.
Take time to consider and assess how your actions may be impacting their choices.
If your partner declines assistance, think about organizing an intervention
If your partner rejects assistance, consider rounding up supportive friends and family members to arrange an intervention.
Convey to your partner that everyone shares deep concern for their emotional and physical well-being, urging them to seek help.
Approach the situation gently; instead of pressuring them, illustrate your care for their health.
When they become aware of the collective concern surrounding them, they may feel inspired to take action towards recovery.
Conclusion
Excessive drinking (left unaddressed) can place a significant strain on a relationship and result in multiple challenges.
If your partner is experiencing issues related to alcohol dependency, motivate them to seek the necessary support.
Various factors, including mental health complications and childhood experiences, can contribute to alcohol addiction, so it’s essential to tackle these root problems.
Being in a relationship with someone recovering from alcoholism can be challenging, so they will require ample support from their partner, family, and friends.
Keep in mind, everything will eventually work out. Just maintain your patience and have faith.
